Hello and welcome to the inaugural post of Mining for Diamonds! I’ve already shared a little bit about myself on the About and Home pages, but I wanted to take this opportunity to formally introduce myself, and share a little bit more about my hopes for this blog...
I feel in many ways like my life did not begin until I started playing violin. I started when I was 10 years old, in the 5th grade. I went on to major in music in college, and earned a Bachelor of Music in Violin performance. I recently completed a Master of Music in Violin Performance (MM).You can read more about my musical journey, as well as my adventures as a 40-something graduate student, here. I often say that I didn't choose the violin, but rather it chose me. It has most certainly been a driving force in my destiny on this planet.
In the ‘90s, during and after college, I got serious about my faith in Jesus. Through a series of events, I served several years as a “musical missionary” with an organization that used music as a tool for sharing the Gospel around the world. I could combine the violin with my faith and my global heart! These were some of the richest years of my life, as I got to go to places like: India, China, Rwanda, Vietnam, Colombia, Armenia, Egypt…to name a few. It was such a blessing to see how powerful music could be! Lives were changed, without a lot of preaching. This group was multi-cultural, interdenominational, and extremely versatile. Being a music group allowed us to go to places where traditional preachers could not. I’ve played violin in places like a leper colony in India, a Chinese orphanage, and a Thai prison; I’ve met the Archbishop of Canterbury, and shared my testimony in a Communist country. I’ve been to the Gaza Strip, and played for survivors of the Rwandan genocide. My years with this group were life changing. Not only for the many souls we encountered along the way as they heard the Gospel message through music, but for me personally. It was in this group that I made lifelong friends...and I met my husband. More on him in a moment...
Music is a huge part of my life…it’s my livelihood. Although it has not made me rich, it has made me happy. I love all kinds of music, not just classical, not just “Christian”, and not just "Western". I find music to be deeply spiritual and a way to connect the souls of humanity to the heart of God. The violin is one way for me to communicate my faith, as well as earn a living. Click here for periodic postings of my playing and other things musical.
I love the nations and anything multicultural, global, international, etc. I am at home just about anywhere, with just about anyone. In total, I’ve been to 34 countries in my lifetime, and hope to visit many more in the future. I believe we all have something to learn from one another, regardless of where we’re from. One thing about music that I find to be so awesome is that it is truly a universal language, and I feel honored to be able to “speak” a language that is understood around the world.
I am the mother of one. She is a ‘tween, and the sunshine in my life. My daughter is outgoing, full of personality and spunk, and is a budding performer. She loves to dance and sing, plays the djembe, and dabbles a little in violin. Her hair is her trademark, as she is the product of two parents with a LOT of hair. She surely got a double portion…and with that, an extremely tender scalp. So we have had quite a few hair adventures in our house. You may hear about that sometime.
I am married…and here comes a huge “but”. Unfortunately, my husband is not with us, and has not been for a few years now. Our story does not follow the narrative of so many marriages that have “issues”. He didn’t leave me for another woman, he is not an addict, or an alcoholic; he’s never been abusive in any way. He did not “do” anything wrong per se, and the fact that ours is an interracial marriage is not a factor in his absence.
My husband was diagnosed with Bipolar I at the age of 16. Bipolar disorder is a serious, complicated mental illness. I knew that when I married him, but neither of us could foresee the trajectory that his mental health would take in his life, and the effect that it would have on our marriage. It is because of the complications of this illness that I find myself in the situation I’m in today.
I will share more of our story during the course of this blog, because I believe that mental illness is something that should be spoken about more candidly. People are hurting, and mental illness in one form or another affects millions of people in this country, as well as those of us who love them. It is highly misunderstood and those affected are often marginalized and stigmatized. Usually we only hear about mental illness in the context of a Hollywood star doing something outrageous or committing suicide…or when a horrific act of violence is committed by a deranged gunman or a mom with severe postpartum depression hurts her children. Those are scary images and do not tell true whole story of the vasts majority of those who suffer from mental illness in its many forms.
One thing I promise to do is maintain and honor my husband’s dignity, and his privacy. Even though there is something of a question mark that remains over him and our marriage, the main point I want to get across in this blog is this: in the midst of it all, God is faithful. He has walked me through some deep valleys in my marriage, and I am confident that He will walk my little family all the way through to His glorious Light. My husband’s story is not over, and neither, I believe, is our marriage.
The heart of “mining for diamonds” comes from that hope the I hold on to, that there are indeed treasures in the darkness.
More will be forth coming, but hopefully this will give you a little foretaste of what to expect. Balanced among the more "serious" aspects of my life are the little joys: my daughter's vibrant personality, coffee, documentaries and foreign films (mostly on Netflix), Scrapbooking (though not in a long time), getting to know my natural hair texture, hanging out on the Internet, and dreaming of fulfilling God's purpose for my life.
I don’t want this to be a “mental illness” blog, or a “mommy” blog, or a “marriage” blog. What I DO desire is this: to offer hope to others who are in difficult situations. I know I am not alone in the challenges I face in loving a person with a serious mental illness, or raising a child alone, or navigating this thing called “faith” in the midst of it all. It’s tough, but “with God, nothing shall be impossible.”
Stay tuned for more!